The Life of a Film Student

Now...Where was i? Continued

2005-07-12T02:07:00.000+08:00

So the night before the party im making oven fried chicken kiev and chips *ugh* and i decide the chips need a lil salt. I reach for the salt and begin to crack away at it when Grimace (you know the fat purple friend of Ronald McDonald) walks in and coughs

*Cough Cough*
i turn with salt in hand
Grimace: What are you doing?

Confused Nick: Oh im cooking tea.

Grimace: I can see that but what are you doing with my salt
Understanding Nick: Umm im just putting a little on my chips because oven fries generally taste like Michael Jacksons ass. Is there some form of problem?

Furious Grimace: (Shit i thought her kind was supposed to be jolly): Yeah but thats MY (Theres that word again) salt

Feeling kidna awkward Nick: Oh.... I'm sorry i didnt realise it was such a big issue i just assumed that as it was salt it was a house hold condiment

Grimace: NO! NO ITS NOT its my salt and this is MY house (shyeah thats right she owned the frickin house, i found out about that one at the same time as learning to not fuck with a womans salt)

Nick: Im...Sorry? I'm happy to pay you some money for the salt i just didnt consider it to be such a hot topic

Grimace: Well it is a hot topic OK! When we said BYO Groceries we meant BRING YOUR OWN GROCERIES

Nick: I think its actually Buy your own (im just being a prick right now)

Grimace: I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS! BUT IT SEEMS YOU DONT

Nick: It's just fucking salt...Let it go. I'm sorry i used your salt it wont happen again

Grimace: yes well see that it doesnt....

Nicks inner thought: "See that it doesnt?" who the fuck is she? a prison guard?

So a this point im thinking im really feeling like moving out and a mate has a room up in his hovel up soon. Never the less i dont cancel the party and secretly tell my friends its branded as a hello goodbye party.

The party starts and i get a turn out of about 30 friends and much alcahol is consumed and people are spoken to. its all going well up until Hambeats #1 AKA Grimace comes up to me
yes its time for another transcript!

Gilbert Grapes Mumma: Umm Nick, can i talk to you inside for a minute

Nick: Yeah sure

Nicks Inner thought: uh oh im in trouble again. Dont take any bullshit this time

Gilbert Grapes Mumma: Whats the deal with all these people?

Nick: What do you mean "The Deal" they're friends

Gilbert Grapes Mumma: I understand that but theres too many of them.

Nick: *Rolleyes* How can i have too many friends?

Gilbert Grapes Mumma: Theres too many of them here

Nicks Inner Thought: Fucking hell just SHUT THE FUCK UP

Calm Nick: You never told me there was a limit

Gilbert Grapes Mumma: Well we where expecting 10 people or so

Pissed off Nick: You didnt tell me this and besides this is a much better turn out

Gilbert Grapes Mumma: *eats a piece of chocolate cream cake* Theres too many people here, tell some to go...

Pissed off Nick: What the hell? tell some to leave how about i tell you to fucking leave! this is ridiculous
and i walk back outside

Can you beleive this shit? Honestly who the hell thinks its at all decent to select some friends and tell them they have to leave because of one uppity bitch and her ridiculous laws.

So the next day i tell them im moving out and she has the nerve to act all sad about it and proceed to ask why. And me like the pussy I was said "oh i cant really afford it here and a friend has a cheaper place closer to uni which suits me quite well" When i really should have said "Beacause I cant fucking stand living under the same roof as a gorging, bitter, repugnant, shallow, petty & ridiculous piece of toilet paper that i used to wipe my anal leakage on because i didnt want it to stain my silk boxers. I love the fact that she played the same game ^_^

Coming up next
--Nick Battles the Dragons in the Blackforest--
Stay Tuned sports fans

Now...Where was i?

2005-07-12T00:52:00.000+08:00

Greetings sports fans, Nick here with a new post. Wow its only been 2 months! what can I say? ive been busy so shutup!

Im going to assume the previous posts didnt happen because I'm too freaking lazy to read what i have written. At Sanjays request i am going to write about my previous adventures in steps because a lot has happened and its easier this way and its my fucking blog!

When i first moved back to the city of Adelaide i moved in with two young girls who will go nameless for the time being because i plan on giving them a lot of shit in the next paragraph ^_^

So yeah these girls i found them on this flatmates site which was a big mistake. The advertisement stated "If you are the type of person who enjoys a party and a beer then you'd love it here" which in retrospect sounds really lame but at the time sounded great. So i jumped in and moved in there and was greeted by a two girls (sisters) who are lets face it less themndesirable and a room that was as big as my asshole and which contradictory too daniels belief is quite normal size id say maybe a small grape? haha anyway, i squeeze my shit in to this little room that smells of floor varnish. I discover one of the girls is a qualified chef (you can tell by her ass) and wine expert so im thinking i could like it here. Turns out i am to be cooking my own food and buying everything for myself which is fair enough i guess but it still sucked especially when i saw the two of them devour a roast beef every thursday whilst i ate my noodles. These girls bragged about the fact that they had a good taste in film and rarely watched TV which turned out to be a load of bullshit, it seems a day couldnt go by without Springer, Oprah, Big Brother, Idol etc or any of that other shit being watched. This house is begining to suck.

I couldnt talk to them about anything, we had nothing in common apart from a love of alcahol but hey who doesnt love the stuff and lets face it if you dont then your probably a communist. Things where starting to suck and i found myself hiding at my friends houses until late so as to avoid inane polite banter with the hambeasts because i just couldnt fake likeing them anymore. I decide we need some kind of ice breaker, you know introduce friends and everyone get drunk and be merry and get along etc. So a housewarming party is organised and people are invited. Now the girls never told me any rules to this party i assumed it was open invite etc etc.

*More to come just posting this to appease fans hah!*

The life and trials of Nicki Masu

2005-02-16T10:02:00.000+08:00

Ok so this is the first time I’ve ever officially been poor. I don’t known how I can claim it officially but we’ll just call it that for the sake of this blog ok?

Ok so I’ve blown all the cash I had apart from the large sum currently outstanding by various peoples. I’ve been waiting for my AUSstudy payment for almost 2 weeks now and its getting difficult to believe it will ever arrive. I called up my “counsellor” “lynne” yesterday who stated she has received some form that needs to be processed and then it should be ok, when I questioned her as to why it isn’t being processed as we speak, well she got very abrupt and stated she is a busy woman. No offence “LYNNE” but I’m poor and hungry student now and I think your game of TETRIS can wait.
Honestly these fucking public service bureaucratic imbeciles! Just want to drive the students of this country nuts. But don’t worry readers, I will survive for as long as I know how to love I know I’ll stay alive.

So I feel like I’m almost ready for university now. A few weeks ago it didn’t seem this real it just seemed like id picked up where I left off when I returned to this state. But I’ve been to uni now, I’ve walked around the lake I’ve attended some lectures on the most boring of subjects

1. Time Management
2. Critical Thinking
3. Essay writing (The unofficial guide to referencing and glossaries) *hahaha I made that last part up
4. Coping with exams

Now these aren’t mandatory lectures, I just thought I would go to scope out the place and maybe pickup some pointers. I get to the first one and there’s me and this…..let’s say “Portly Gentleman” present. No one else, just me and him. I stuck around for 15 minutes, I left after said portly gentleman started whispering to me about all the “Hot Chicks” in his courses. I hate having to feign interest in things, I find it one of the most difficult things to do. I mean don’t get me wrong, If there’s something to be learned from it then I’ll listen intently, BUT! If its something I know I will never want to discuss with another soul or pursue further, My brain will deflect any incoming information and I will scan for ways to interrupt the talker so I can get the hell out of there. I think there’s going to be a lot of that this year.

No romantic encounters as of yet, BUT it’s a friends 22nd this weekend and maybe I can find some semi drunk woman who finds me slightly attractive to play “patty cake” with

The first person that gets the patty cake reference wins a marsbar!
You have to post the answer in the comments section weeeeeeeeeeee
-Nick-

Sadam in iraq said everyone attack and we'll turn it into the baghdad blitz

2005-02-09T13:25:00.000+08:00

Greetings sport fans,
I am without internet for the moment, since optus cancelled my free work account and im too poor to afford the fabled broadband and well dialup just plain sucks. So where am i at the moment? i am stealing a friends internet.

So ive returned to Adelaide, I've settled into my new place, what happened next? ahh yes trying to make peace with my astranged father. Let me tell you something about Steve Moss. Steve is a man who will not take advice from someone unless they earn over $30,000 a year.
since i have been a student most of my life, he hasnt really had the time of day for his son, apart from showing me his latest plan to help me get a job in some area i have no interest in.
It seems that......it seems that all he cares about is work, plain and simple work and nothing more. It doesnt where or with who just as long as you do WORK and you get a PAYCHECK. Now dont get me wrong i've heard the sayings "he just wants whats best for you" but if that where true why would the man prefer me to be unhappy and working then unhappy and working for the sake of a few extra years of study.
Sorry for those reading who dont know whats really going on, i am talking about my father Steve Moss, Me and my father have never really gotten along, not until my move to melbourne. We would speak on the phone for an hour at a time and it was nice to finally get some respect, But now im back ive left that job and decided to take a different path and it feels like im back to where we were 3 years ago and its just so fucking shit. The uncomfortable silence, i hate visiting my parents because he allways throws in some snide remark about "winners sticking to there guns"
Mum invited me around for pizza the other night and we got to talking about a friend of mine, David who has just come back from a work trip over seas.
heres the transcript

Mum: Gee david was lucky to go to london for work
Dad: why is he lucky? (here comes the snide remark) people that stick at there job get rewarded
Me: haha I wouldnt consider it lucky to be in a job i dont enjoy when my interests are held elsewhere
Dad: I wasnt making a reference to you at all
Me: Bullshit dad, why would you possibly deny it?
Dad: This pizza is terrible.

And that was the end of it. It seems that each encounter with my dad is one where we exchange blows or just say good morning. But its allways so formal.
GOOD MORNING NICHOLAS
Well i have more to write about, but my laptop 5 minutes of charge left and i want to get something posted tonight.
Peace Out
-Nick-

HOLIDAY ROOWAHOOAAOAAADD

2005-01-29T05:46:00.000+08:00

The worst day of my entire life, and that is saying something! Because ive had some shit days.

So how did I end up here? Where am I you ask?
A little town called Callington about 20k’s from Murray bridge.
I’m running out of fuel I’m freaking out I’ve had 0 sleep and exhausted from the days activities. I am sitting in my car right now waiting for the RAA guy to show up to give me more petrol and writing this to pass the time, its pitch black outside its just started to rain and I swear I can hear gun shots, followed by YEEEHHAW!

But that wasn’t the question was it? The question was HOW did I get here?

Ok so I woke up at 8 to go pickup this trailer from dingofuckingwhoopwhoop
Didn’t get to the place until 12, then offcourse it took me one hour to get home because I somehow found some shortcut.

ANYWHO,so I get home and I start to load up my car for the journey back to Adelaide, its hot as hell its humid and I have to travel up and down my building about 20 times to get everything loaded into this trailer, and I have no one to help me ☹

So I have to start an 8 hour drive to Adelaide with this trailer. I’m riddled with problems from the get go. Bad Traffic, crazy hooligans and the amount of petrol! My god im glad I got my pay today

So round about 7pm I reckon I start feeling really spun out and cant concentrate, and then it starts to get dark so fish around in my bag whilst driving looking for my glasses and you guessed, I left them back in Melbourne Good Fucking Going Nick.
So I’m driving with my sunnies on (thank god there prescription, man I’m such a geek)
And It’s getting darker and darker and pretty soon its all going to hell, my heads spinning my visions dimming, and I’m feeling the effects only eating breakfast and then drinking 6 redbulls and a can of coke. Obviously all the sugar affected my brain also because I haven’t made a sound decision all day.

So yeah like I said, its 7pm getting dark and then my engine warning light pops on because its over heating, and nicks getting hungry so I come across a lovely little town that I cant recall the name of now, and I see a Balfour’s pie 24/7 sign. I’m thinking damn I could so go a Balfour’s pie (they don’t have them in Melbourne! ☹)
So I pull into this would be petrol station to discover it’s closed….
Didn’t the sign say 24/7? Oh I guess they have 8 days in there week and Friday isn’t included… BAH!
So I settle for this chicken and chips place.
We wont go there…
Start the car again, oh hello Mr. Engine light, still not happy I see? Well fuck ya

So I drive off hoping the shocking chicken and chips will clear my head, turns out it didn’t and I decide to play it safe and drive behind this big truck because it’s easier to follow big red slower moving lights then the small ones whizzing by. This was the best decision I made all day but I was still feeling woozy so I kept slapping myself in the face to snap back to reality (oop there goes gravity) me and my truck companion made it to Tailem bend which is about 1.5 hours out of Adelaide and I notice I only have 2 bars of petrol left, and magically all the petrol stations are closed, and here come the headaches, its by this time that I’m almost brought to tears. But I press on hoping and praying a shiny mobile quix shell or even a BP will magically appear. But alas they did not, so in a desperate attempt to get fuel, I get off the highway at the closes exit, which happens to be Callington.

A big sign states, WELCOME TO CALLINGTON and it has a picture of a petrol pump advertising “YES WE SELL PETROL” I roll into this town and immediately get a bad vide, its like a shanty town in the slums of Budapest, the only thing I can see open is the local pub. It’s my only option, I don’t want to do it! But I have to.
So I pull into this pub, Named “Collington Local” the second I walk in all eyes are on me, Except for….. The 80 year old man with hair all over his face dancing a jig in the back left corner to a 80’s style boom box playing My Happiness by Powderfinger. I stop and stared for a minute and decided to not to take a photo as I needed these peoples help.
Just remember I still had my sunnies on and its probably 10:30 at night.

Heres a transcript of my conversation with the barmen
Swarthy Bar Man: What it be son? Cottees cordial or Milo
*local drunks raucous laughter*
Me: No no I was wondering if you can tell me where the petrol station is?
Swarthy Bar Man: Sorry mate, closes at 6. You need some petrol ay?
Me: no I want a fucking rubber chicken (I didn’t say that but now I wish I did)
Me Really: yeah I’m about to run out and I have to get to Adelaide
Swarthy Bar Man: Sounds like your fucked then. No petty shops open again till tomorrow.
Me: Well thanks…
*more raucous laughter from residents of HicksVille SA*

I walk out and go back to the car.
There where 2 options at this point.
Suicide or trying to find a payphone so I can call the RAA. I liked the first option better.

I even had it played out in my head. I could walk back into the bar and tell the biggest guy there that his daughter BRANDINE was pregnant with my kid and we where going to move to the “big smoke”

I thought I would give option 2 a little more time. So I drive up the street and my poor car is spluttering and its all pitch black around me, But suddenly as if by magic I see a Telstra logo in yonder horizon and I juuuuust make it there. I was fortunate enough earlier in the day that I had found an absolute assload of coinage in my room. Placed a call to the RAA and was on the way to being rescued. Which brings us up to speed.

The RAA man arrives. He is a grizzly man in his late 50’s unshaven and has a white beard also, his name is Stan. He is a tad gruff but tries to remain friendly, I think I woke him up.
So after he charges me $10 for petrol I zoom on out and cruising back down the highway begging and pleading that I make it to the next petrol station.

Now the problem with entrance to Adelaide is that you have to tackle the hills first, I watched my petrol bar slide up and down with great enthusiasm, willing it to stay above the rad until the petrol station.
It hits red, and it starts to rain.
Normally I love driving in the rain, but not in this instance because the big ass trailer im hauling happens to contain my mattress and its presently getting saturated…. But what’s this? A big BP sign!
The car gives another cough as I roll triumphantly into the station. I decide to spend the night at my parents place and get setup at my new digs tomorrow

Needless to say I have made it home safely but I am never travelling interstate again!
At least in the next 6 months, and if someone comes with me, or if there’s a really good band playing but they are skipping Adelaide because we aren’t COOL enough.

I go sleep now

Goodbye

2005-01-27T19:45:00.000+08:00

Well its finally here, the day of leaving.

who knew it would come by so fast, its incredible.
The day started off well. i was 37 minutes late for work, i got 0 sleep because of the humidity. and now the work day is done. we had farewell drinks at the local pub.
Was a nice turnout, all the people i loved came to wish me off none of this well wishers crap.
Just the ones i loved talkin to and hanging around and it is going to be hard to not wake up tomorrow and realise
"Hey sucked shit! you're unemployed hahahaha"
Ada one of my closest friends at optus wouldnt let me go which didnt make it easy and i was fightin a tear because i will miss her most of all, she is the type of person everyone can love and i feel lucky to have met her and even luckier to have been friends with her and i feel special to know i will be missed by her :)

Im 99% certain that some of the team are going to read this post.

Hrmm who else would read it?
Tim? haha what can you say about tim
What a crazy guy, first of all i'll just come right and say it Tim is gay
he speaks his mind a lot and i really admire that, Some of the stuff that comes out of his mouth when he speaks to customers has me in stitches. its like
"why did you click that? are you a computer professional? NO? I AM so neh!"
and i'll just freeze and think about what he said. then i go over the reactions the customer had and its allways a hillarious ending. TIm you are a champ and dont change man keep on sticking it to the bastards!

Who's next
Simone,
ahh simone what a fantastic girl to have met in my journey to melbourne, she was one of the main supporters of my latest uni endeavour and she made me feel like i really was doing the right thing by myself. I just enjoyed talking to her about anything, im having a hard time writing this one so i'll shutup now. But! if there is one girl i end up with this in my life of mine, i hope she is like simone =)

I wont do the rest of you because it will take too long and you all know i'll miss you.

ahh geez im choking up, but once again its good to get some things off my chest before i leave this state and start my new adventure, under the seeeeeeeaaaaaa

P.S if you arent listening to Deltron 3030 by now
i'll quote harrison ford in Airforce one
GET OFF MY BLOG

oh and P.S i wrote a rap about post it notes last night
dont ask me why, it sounded like a good idea.

here it goes

Post it on a note
By MC DrNick

Who’d a thunk it?
Those ittybitty yellow stickers
In my mind they flicker like a parade
Remindin me of the bills that need to get paid
Illin those little yellow post its are just chillin
Clinging to the wall dishin out commands
Like the Third Reich’s head honcho man

But don’t be a sucker, you know there aint no other
That can withstand the fan and keep you on plan
Keep your head on the tasks at hand.

So what I rhyming is that timing is important see
You cant make it make it in this world without the yellow sticky

A Post to remember

2005-01-22T10:06:00.000+08:00

*****WARNING WARNING*****
Posting from work so prepare for a disjointed post today.

Ok well with 6 day to go until i move back to adelaide youd think my mood would be that of an exciting one, But the trouble is there are still 5 days of work ahead of me. I cant believe this job has gotten to the stage where i would hate every single day of it. I said at the start of this blog that i wouldnt constantly complain about my job and i think ive done a pretty good job so far.

I think the issue isnt with my job, its actually with me. Why cant i stay happy in the same thing for more then a year? Am i to be constantly changing the things in my life until i find something that interests me? This actually scares me a lot because what if i dont find what im looking for? because i know at a certain point i am going to become unemployable. I know its not for YEARS to come but what if im never happy with my life and work.

Its the same with my love life, I find some girl i really like who's fun to be around interesting to talk to, but after a while i just feel BLAH and want to get out of it. Its like im bored with that person and i want to get out. Which sounds mean but lets face it, if you where a girl would you want to be with someone who was feigning an interest in you for respect of your feelings OR would you rather someone who is honest about the situation?

Maybe the two corelate to each other? I mean think about it.
Im unhappy in my current job and unhappy in love. I said before that im searching for the things that make me happy in life..........Huh, I think i just solved a lot of questions about myself, and i feel SO much better now.

For the past few days i have felt so out of it. Ive been questioning my uni entrance and wondering if it is the right thing to do etc. I feel like im under some immense pressure, Its so strange how things change. I'll say a bit about my past and how i came to my current state.

Flashback to 2000 *WHOOSH*
Year 12, I was dating a Kelly Naulty a highschool friend. My only real interest at the time was computers, and being 2000 there wasnt REALLY anything computer orientated to hold my interest apart from programming. the rest of it was Powerpoint presentations and desktop publishing, boring stuff. So i grew restless with school and eventually dropped out. My dad was pissed mum was upset rahrahrah.

So i decide to go to TAFE and at first it was interesting it was great but then as it got on i got bored with it. but i perservered and survived 2 more years. I was working a meniel job at the local subway working 11pm - 7am most nights.
It was interesting for the most part as my co worker was a 55 year old chech born man named RICKIE. He was a man built like a brick shithouse, Strong stocky and short and took shit from no one, he had survived a war. But then i was offered a job at optusnet, I was ecstatic it was my first real job and my parents where proud.

Everything was going so well, i was king of the team, people came to me for advice and my co workers where fantastic, so about a year into the job things are still ok. But im starting to feel the BLAHness thats so dominant in my life right now and I get an idea into my head to go to japan to teach english. I applied and even had a second interview, and i go to tell my Boss at the time about the situation and she says to me, well what about melbourne?
about a month later ive packed my things and shipped off to Melbourne to start a new life. Or so i thought....
We where told there would be lots of opportunity and we would be reverred as seniors and management possibilities where almost a sure thing. 8 months later there was no change and optus releases a statement saying they are going to open a call centre in India for dialup support, and the first place to get shutdown is going to be....you guessed it Melbourne. So its a big screw you to employees. I guess at this time i was unhappy in my job since there had been no change in a year and a half.

So i enrol at uni and im counting down the days till unemployment

And here we are....

Upgrade your brain matter cos one day it may matter

2005-01-17T17:49:00.000+08:00

I should be on top of the world, my months of worrrying are finally over i have my uni ticket.
But my mind just keeps thinking of new things to worry about.
and you just know they are shallow pathetic things, like money

God money, i hate it so much. Why are we so drawn to this piece of paper?
well in my case its because i crave THINGS. I see some website thats selling some funky toy robot or i get an idea into my head that i need something and then i invent 1000 reasons why i need it and then i just buy it, and its never as glorious as i invision it, its allways such a massive let down.

Hrmm maybe thats why i still feel so BLAH
ive put so much into this uni business talking about it to everyone i meet and talking online to friends about it even complete strangers on the telephone at work, and today at 4:30 when i logged onto the SATAC website and saw the offer from flinders blinking at me i read every word on the screen and then clicked accept.
I dont know what i was expecting but it certainly wasnt such a drab and boring invitation to my new university.
Maybe baloons to fall from the roof, price is right style, maybe a personal phone call from burt newton, congratulating me and wishing me luck.

Now dont get me wrong, i had plenty of messages on MSN saying congratulations etc but they just feel as bland as my invitation *no offence to anyone, i really did appreciate them =)

Fuck. i have absolutely no idea where im going with this. its just.........
Ok screw it im going to bed! night all

Well hurrah

2005-01-17T17:04:00.000+08:00

Just a quick one tonight.
The uni offers came through 2 hours early!
and i am pleased to say i will be attending Flinders University in Adelaide, Australia
as a bachelor of arts

Now wheres my beret and shades?

PEACE OUT I LOVE YOU

\\P.S Listen to Deltron 3030//
Best urban futuristic Hip Hop album ever

I promised myself i wouldnt post until....

2005-01-17T00:07:00.000+08:00

DUN DANA! Uni offers.
thats right ladies and gentlemen today on the 17th of january 2005 a website will show my fate.
Will i be accepted into university of forced into a life of customer orientated servitude.

6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM
6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM6PM

I wasnt going to post until after the offers where over but i am having trouble restraining myself.

Well tonight was marlo's (my room mate) 30th bday, and well like any 30 year old she was a bit depressed about the whole thing. she had just come from a day of work at

O
P
T
U
S
N
E
T

So i dont blame her for being a little down. well anyway, I was seated next to one of the sisters. Her name was sarah and right from the get go it was a bizzarre experience. she was a schizophrenic

Wait WAIT i really dont like the way this post is going....its just not as GOOD as the first one.
who the hell wants to hear about my night out to dinner.

I Mentioned in my last post that i was recently single; Lets talk about this.
Profile of the girlfriend
Name: Shianne (shazza) i dont even want to get started on that.
what the fuck was i thinking? dating someone who calls her self shaz.
Age: 20
Size/Weight: bout 5"8 slimmish kinda. i dunno bout 65 kilos?
Place of Birth: Alice springs

Yes her name is shazza and she is from Alice Springs. Her dad runs a harley davidson tour group around ayers rock.
When i first met this girl it was down the bay, we walked and talked held hands and i dropped her home.
Where did she live you say? Salisbury

Yes a 20 year old girl named shazza originally from the 2nd most redneck state in australia next to Tasmania ;)
she lives in salisbury and her dad runs a harley davidson tour group. oh and her step dad is an ex Port Adelaide Power Player (thats a football team if any ameriKKKans are reading)

*Note: For you out of towners, think of the worst neighbourhood in your area. got it?
ok good, now multiply it about 8 times. thats how bad salisbury is. if you park your car out on the street, 5 mins later you'll be driving home with bricks for tires

Jesus christ i must of had my head in a barrell of marijuana flavoured whiskey to continue seeing this girl.
but i did and i really enjoyed most of it. we went to a movie went for walks on the beach, you know, all that mushy stuff.

One day i was driving her home and somehow we got onto the subject of killing a person. I said i had never killed any living creature apart from a bird once with my car and i felt guilty for hours. She then proceeds to tell me about an accident she had last week, while she was visiting her dad in alice springs.

See up there in the topend of Australia there is no speed limit on the highway, and she was driving home from some event or another. (probably the chugalug boot scootin box social)
casually doing 180kph and she went up and over this hill. SUDDENLY an aboriginal appeared out of nowhere and she hit him dead on killing him on impact.

At this point i am dumbfounded, i cant believe i am sitting next to someone who has killed another person and talking so casually about it. IT HAPPENED LAST FUCKING WEEK!
i manage to muster up a question
"Jesus christ you killed him? do you feel any remorse"
She flat out said no
then she tried to justify it by saying he was drunk and wandering the desert and he looked homeless
at the time i was to dazzled by her bluntness and lack of compassion to think about this
but in retrospect. if your doing 180 over a hill and you hit an aboriginal.

A) your going fucking fast
B) Its Dark
C) The man is dark
D) Theres no way in hell you can tell what condition he is in.

So anyway i drop her home after avoiding the gang land warfare and random car jackings, we agree to see each other again.
*note: "by this time your all probably thinking im brain damaged or just really really fucking desperate."
The problem is i was very attracted to this girl so i just cant let it go, and i have this massive issue with dumping girls. i dont like to hurt people so i avoided the issue and tried to forget about my girlfriends murderous ways.

So anyway i return to melbourne to finish up my time at optus and to sort myself out and one night i get an SMS
that doesnt make all that much sense so i wont bore you with the details. but essentially it was a break up SMS.
WHO BREAKS UP VIA SMS? you cry
geez youd have to be some gigantic coward to do such a thing

Well actually mister or mrs's JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER i broke up with one girl over SMS in year 12 her name was.....
welll i cant remember her name right now but it'll come to me dont you worry.
So ive been racked with guilt for doing it ever since it happened. until this moment, because anyone ive told the story too thinks im an asshole for doing so. but now this girl has done the same thing to me, and it feels great that she did so, because

A) I know now that im not the only one in the world to do this
and
B) That im free of the murderer and i have 0 guilt.

Well that concludes the story of the shaz the aboriginal killing salisburian with the AUSSIE OCKA accent.

Confessions of a Phone Monkey

2005-01-15T17:56:00.000+08:00

Well since this is the first post of my very own blog and because NO ONE is going to read it i can write....pretty much whatever the hell i want. No... thats not right.

wait wait let me start again. we'll start with an introduction.

Name: Nick
Age: 21 almost 22 NO I DONT WANT TO BE 22!
D.O.B 7/3/83
yes im a pisces so expect some mood swings and some attempts at being creative. atleast thats what im TOLD being a piscean is.
Location: Currently living in melbourne
Social Status: Recently single

Here is a picture of me with my mates when they came up for a new years visit

Im the one in the middle standing up with the green shirt and sunnies on
ok now im not so anonymous am i? But

Geez ive got so much to say but i dont want to write it all down in one go for fear of writers block.

Ok now that we have the formalities out of the way lets get down to business.
ive started this blog in an attempt to stop bottling my thoughts and feelings up, because it is playing havoc with my mind and in my writing, for you see i am trying to write a documentary at the moment i wont say what its about for fear of someone stealing my idea. But i am a massive documentray nut and this year i am going to uni to study film and documentaries, so lets all hope i can make something of it =)

Now my present job is working in a call centre. The SHITTEST of all SHIT jobs. its seems that half the bloody country works in a call centre and i think that is really sad.
Now i'll jsut say this now, this blog wont be day to day bitchings about shit customers shit bosses etc but i may slip in some comments here and there and amusing stories, but i just have to vent some things and then i'll be fine.
This particular call centre, we'll call it

O
P
T
U
S
N
E
T

This call centre is all about taking calls from there customers related to technical issues, and i happen to be one of those people. Most of my co-workers complain about the dottery old lady who picked up the computer from harvey norman and didnt have the phone cord plugged in, but me, I love these people. I really admire them for there determination and the fact that they rely so heavily on me and my knowledge to help them out, i have unlimited patience for them.
Now for the 2 types of people i hate
#1 the know-it-all former computer technician
Profile: Starts off by listing the complicated and un neccessary things he has done in his
(Id say his/her but girls ive never spoken to one women technician so no offence to the women technicians out there)
attempt to fix the problem and then slips in the fact that he currently works for or used to work for and when you explain what the error is. lets say its a wrong username or password and you tell them how it can happen, they will disaggree with you.

This pisses me off because i have dealt with 1200000000 calls earlier in the day for the exact same reason and i KNOW what then problem is and then YOU! the KNOW IT ALL COMPUTER TECHNICIAN tells me thats not the problem. my response is allways "no offence (name) but why did you call me up if know the sollution" i ususally laugh a little while i say it. i either get stunned silence or a hail of abuse. But the things of beauty about a phone is.....I can hang up

#2 caller that pisses me off.
No its not abusive crazy old men. No its not stoned teenages (ahh those where the days)
The person who wants something for nothing and makes references to how they have been "inconvenienced" by this or that.
For example, If there internet service drops out 3 times in a day and they missed some ebay sale for a pristine copy of archie comic issue #33. you know the one, its the one where archie cant decide whether to date veronica or betty andn jughead supresses his secret desires for archie, YEAH ITS THE SAME EVERY FUCKING ISSUE
wait where were we?
oh yeah customers. Yeah those ones that want something for the pathetic little inconvenience they received.
They go something like this

CheapBastard: yeah its just that i missed out on that sale and i dont want to wait 28hours for the next sale
Me: Well im sorry that you missed out on it but i cant help the fact that your mother rang you and kicked you off the net
CheapBastard: well if this was a decent provider they wouldnt let that happen and i feel upset that i trust you with my internet. im thinking i might go somewhere else

Note: Customers threatening to leave we have to make an attempt to save. if we do we get points and can buy things like Ruby red lamps and ice cream makers. Do you really think i give a rats ass if they go or not?

Me: Well im sorry to hear you say that. if its upset you that much im happy to offer you a half a month free
CheapBastard: Tch i dont think thats just going to cut it DoDo's selling the same package for 5c cheaper i think i'll just go with them
Me: *Sigh* ok i'll give you 10% off for the next 6 months. How does that sound?
CheapFuckingAsshole: Thats more like it. see its not so hard

This makes me feel like im supressing myself. And it makes me feel like shit that this person gets discounts over someone else that probably deserves it more for being on the poverty line and they need the internet for job hunting etc, Then some comic book freak.

I'll make you all a deal. If you are a customer with us for Dialup internet and you call up and hear "Optusnet this is Nick how can i help you?" and you mention your a fan of music by Cake and you say you want to cancel. i will give you 20% off for the next 6 months hahahaha!

Ok well wow ive written a lot havent i, and i feel i have more to say but i'll save it for another day.
im going to send this link to 2 people whom dont know each other and thats it.
Geez i was never very good at conclusions.

Goodnight
-Nick-